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FatelTasteofSweetPoison's Journal


FatelTasteofSweetPoison's Journal

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6 entries this month
 

Tired....

23:43 Oct 20 2015
Times Read: 318


my body is weak... but not as weak as my mind... heart and soul... I feel drained... alot more then I should...I really dont know what to say or do,,,I need what has turned out to be so much... no where near as simple as I thought.... Im just blah...


COMMENTS

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human/ the Lonely by Christina Perri

21:58 Oct 19 2015
Times Read: 331


"Human"



I can hold my breath

I can bite my tongue

I can stay awake for days

If that's what you want

Be your number one



I can fake a smile

I can force a laugh

I can dance and play the part

If that's what you ask

Give you all I am



I can do it

I can do it

I can do it



But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human



I can turn it on

Be a good machine

I can hold the weight of worlds

If that's what you need

Be your everything



I can do it

I can do it

I'll get through it



But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human



I'm only human

I'm only human

Just a little human



I can take so much

'Til I've had enough



'Cause I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human







"The Lonely"



2am; where do I begin,

Crying off my face again.

The silent sound of loneliness

Wants to follow me to bed.



I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most.

I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.



Dancing slowly in an empty room,

Can the lonely take the place of you?

I sing myself a quiet lullaby.

Let you go and let the lonely in

To take my heart again.



Too afraid to go inside

For the pain of one more loveless night.

Cause the loneliness will stay with me

And hold me till I fall asleep.



I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most.

I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.



Dancing slowly in an empty room,

Can the lonely take the place of you?

I sing myself a quiet lullaby.

Let you go and let the lonely in

To take my heart again.



Broken pieces of

A barely breathing story

Where there once was love

Now there's only me and the lonely.



Dancing slowly in an empty room

Can the lonely take the place of you?

I sing myself a quiet lullaby

Let you go and let the lonely in

To take my heart again.


COMMENTS

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PRIVATE ENTRY

13:34 Oct 19 2015
Times Read: 335


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

"bleed red"

01:22 Oct 11 2015
Times Read: 350






Let's say were sorry,

Before it's too late,

Give forgiveness a chance

Turn the anger into water

Let it slip through our hands



We all bleed red,

We all taste rain,

All fall down,

Lose our way,

We all say words we regret,

We all cry tears, we all bleed red



If we're fighting, we're both losing,

We're just wasting our time

Because my scars,

They are your scars and your world is mine



You and I, we all bleed red,

We all taste rain, all fall down, lose our way

We all say words, we regret,

We all cry tears, we all bleed red



Sometimes we're strong, sometimes we're weak,

Sometimes we're hurt and it cuts deep

We live this life, breath to breath,

We're all the same, we all bleed red



Let's say we're sorry' before its too late



We all bleed red,

All taste rain, all fall down, lose our way

We all say words, we regret,

We all cry tears, all bleed red



Sometimes we're strong, sometimes we're weak,

Sometimes we're hurt and it cuts deep

We live this life, breath to breath,

We're all the same, we all bleed red



Read more: Ronnie Dunn - Bleed Red Lyrics | MetroLyrics

COMMENTS

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you oughta know...by AM..

02:14 Oct 03 2015
Times Read: 377


I want you to know, that I'm happy for you

I wish nothing but the best for you both

An older version of me

Is she perverted like me

Would she go down on you in a theatre

Does she speak eloquently

And would she have your baby

I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother



'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able

To make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And every time you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, till you died

But you're still alive



And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know



You seem very well, things look peaceful

I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know

Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity

I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner

It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced

Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?



'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able

To make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And every time you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, til you died

But you're still alive



And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know



'cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me

And I'm not gonna fade

As soon as you close your eyes and you know it

And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back

I hope you feel it...well can you feel it



Well, I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know



To all the want to be men who have come and gone in my life..who think Im not enough...and the fucking grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side....and find out its NOT!!!!!


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Here...

00:52 Oct 01 2015
Times Read: 338


It has been a very long time since I have been back here...miles well having writen anything....I have missed it very much....I wish I could say my life is doing great.....but I cant....I have really had some very good bits of happiness....but I have paid for it...like now....and boy am I paying fucking dearly...I have had some great loves in my life...I have been very lucky,,,no...not lucky....blessed... thats the better word for it...but as much as I hate to say it...I have had to pay the price every time.....



Now... I have a man in my life I love sooooo unbelieveably much...and we have been crazy happy... he gets me in ways that no one else has been able to...even the really stupid stuff....but now it has come time to pay the piper....He has a mentel illness that he understands is there...but really not how to deal with it...I try to help...I explain the best I can but he is convinced that that is not the way to handle it...all I can do is sit back and let the run away train happen...right now I can even talk to him about it...because we are in a very messed up place where something happened...*sighs*...

He has split personality disorder...

full blown... He made a mistake and started cheating on me...I wouldnt even have called it that...but he went behind my back....Im poly...so we could have talked and it would have been a different story...he feels unbelieveably bad...and I have forgiven him...it was online....

But heres the real paying the piper...the other side of him....wont let her go...he was off his meds...and I am trying to give him time...but I am hurting soooooo fucking bad....I feel so unworthy...that I am not enough....at one time...i was for both sides of him...I just dont know what to do...Im trying so hard....but all I feel like all I am doing is failing...I have to sit back and know shes sending him clit shots...thinking thats her daddy..I know..I know what everyone is saying...Im stupid...for hanging on....but the fact is mentel illness is a very bad problem...and I cant just blame him...I know I could say..I just dont want to know whats going on...but I cant....I need to know the truth...so it is a catch 22...so here i am.... the other woman....AGAIN...when I NEVER really been the other woman...paying the piper for happiness...lost


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